We Got Lucky - And a Little Learning

Need a Distraction? How about a Hurricane?

Having a potential natural disaster looming is really helpful to get you out of your head. Instead of being anxious for the sake of anxiety, you get to have some adrenaline and forced purpose. Suddenly there is no time to think about whether or not my depression is creeping in or wondering if I've only been surviving on hypomania. There was a hurricane coming. I live in a wooden house near the seashore. Gotta go!

I'd like to say that I really experienced my first hurricane, but in a sense, I really didn't. I actually slept through some of the worst of it. I also left the east coast of Puerto Rico where my house is to take refuge on higher ground and in a concrete building in Caguas.

Music: Ebb Tide, Deep Breaths of Calm by Debby Bacon

As it turns out, we got really lucky and the storm veered to the north more than had been predicted. In my last post I talked about not being able to relax because of the stress of the impending storm. In actuality, I'm not able to relax because I don't know how to relax. Now that the storm has passed, I'm finding myself right back in the same boat. I'm doubting my experience, questioning my reality, and wondering what type of mood I'm actually swinging through at the moment. 

A few of the things that I learned:

  1. The Internet is a huge distraction from reality
  2. Electricity is only as important as we tell ourselves it is (life saving devices excluded)
    • Says the person that has driven 35 miles on uncleared roads to go to Starbucks at 4:30 in the morning where there is a generator and I can charge my computer, phone, and iPad.
  3. Running water (from a faucet or a pipe) is a beautiful thing
  4. People are good to one another
    • I find this on the whole, and also at the surface level when we need to rely on one another
  5. I am clinging desperately to vestiges of my old life (and I need to let go)
    • There is no electricity and no cell phone service at my house. Rather than spend the time casually organizing and moving into my new home or sitting in the backyard and looking at the ocean, I'm worried that if I don't somehow get to the Internet and make my presence known, the few readers and members we have will disappear forever.
    • I feel like there is more important work to be done than to relax and enjoy the scenery.
    • "I am failing"
  6. My dog is much better at life than I am

Hurricane Jose is the next blip on the horizon, and I'm told that after Hurricane Hugo, my neighborhood didn't get electricity back for 40 days. I'm hoping it's a little quicker this time, but considering the state of the power lines running through and being literally eaten up by the jungles, I'm not holding my breath. Truth be told, it's a little like camping, and parts of it are a lot of fun. 

I miss the rush of the storm. I'm glad it didn't destroy my house, but before it got here, and as we speak, it is destroying other people's homes. My thoughts are with those who have been significantly impacted. I think the Red Cross is a still a good organization to donate to, isn't it? Let me know in the comments what the best use of money for relief is and where to send it and how. For now, here's the Red Cross Hurricane Relief Site : www.redcross.org.

Good luck everybody!