Driving Home Quickly - Check Your Volume :)
Every day for a week. Every day you arrive in the morning and you go home in the afternoon. I haven’t had a schedule like that in such a long time that even though I’m up plenty early in the morning, it was tough to get out the door.
I got lucky enough to do this twice. Two weeks, about 3 weeks apart. Every day arrive, every afternoon go home. And I tried almost every time to get the full drive on camera. I needed to. It finally happened on the last day and I was so excited that I immediately went and did nothing.
I've worked on this video for way too long. It's a pretty simple video, but I just couldn't pull it together. Point A to point B, and yet it was this unreachable target. I'm driving home, so you sort of get to see what I see when I’m driving. It is made more fun by the music, I assure you. I was driving myself home from a mental institution, so it kind of stands out in my mind. Let me know what you think…
I really appreciate the sound artists. The music brings it all together.
5 years ago
I went on a mammoth spending spree, manic/psychotic episode. At this very time 5 years ago, I was selling the last of my remaining possessions on street corners in Boston and looking for ride shares so that I could get back to Colorado for a court date on July 7th. It would take more than three years for me to see that there was a potential for future in my life. I was worse than suicidal. I was apathetic. I was physically and mentally ill, and the only thing that made any sense was that my dog still had to go outside at least a couple times a day.
It wasn’t my first experience with mental health, but it was my first experience that destroyed my life so completely that I had no choice but to leave everything behind and become a new person.
If it’s of interest to you, I wrote a bit on the subject or finding myself destroyed. Here are a few parts of the history. I still struggle every single day. I’m fighting to stay functional and positive. I’m fighting the feeling that the world would be better off without me. This fight fucking sucks, so if you’re doing it too, cheers to you! I hope you’re stronger than I.