Today I go for an intake appointment for medication. The last few weeks have been hell in my mind and gut. Maybe meds are the answer, or maybe just a mask. Maybe they'll make me feel worse in one way, better in another. Maybe I have no idea what's going to happen.
Isn't that always the case? There is no predicting the future, so why is the future always on my mind?
David Allen has a neat bit in his book "Getting Things Done" that talks about how an intelligent person can put his or herself in prison in a matter of a few steps simply by thinking. Think about something simple, then immediately create a scenario in which that simple thing morphs into a series of events that turn into the worst case scenario. He uses this to illustrate why people procrastinate. Procrastination is anxiety.
Sartre, in his essay "Existentialism is a Humanism" explains (I think) that anxiety is the human condition. Those that aren't feeling the anxiety are in denial about being human or are simply ignorant of their existence. Ignorance is bliss.
I'm anxious about meeting the new doctor. I'm anxious that meds won't work for me. I'm anxious that I won't know if the meds are working. I'm just anxious.