Hello, I'm Wendy (since a formal introduction just seems a bit, well formal). I go by many names some nice, loving, and friendly and some just plain cruel and mean, but most of the time I'm Wendy or mom.
I have 3 great kids (to say they are wonderful would be an overstatement) - 2 teenagers and one right behind them. On any given day life can be dramatically traumatic but its my life and as the saying goes "this too shall pass". I haven't had the worst of lives but I wouldn't say it has been easy.
Everyone at some point has to fight to move forward and sometimes it seems more of a grueling war than just a day of struggle. I am divorced (no tears it was the best thing I've done besides add my darling sociopaths to the genetic pool (just kidding they are kind hearted kids). All through my marriage and even now, I've struggled to pay my bills like millions of people do. There are days I've wanted to give up. I've wanted to pop an entire bottle of pills and lay down to sleep, but I am still here by some insane miracle.
About 3 years ago I lost my job I was devastated. How was I going to take care of my children? I lost my income, my insurance, and my self esteem. The thing that made me the adult, the person in charge, the person who always made things happen for my family, was gone. What made it worse was that I had also just graduated from college with an associates degree and now had student loans coming due.
I spiraled down so far down that I started figuring out ways to get my kids out of the house so I could just be done with this world. I didn't want to leave them but I just couldn't take the failure. I couldn't afford to get help. How was I going to pay for it?
I had had one interview, didn't get the job, and no one else was calling. With the help of the long time man in my life, I decided to go to a temp service and see if I could find any work. I was able to find work and from there I have started to pick myself financially, and finally get up out of the mud. Now here I am, telling strangers about my life.
I am one of the 99% and I would just about kill to be a 1%. Would I be a better person than them? Who knows? I'm not one of them. I am me. Instead of being angry that they have more than me, I study. I don't study for a degree, I study for me.
Many years ago I decided that I wanted to learn about herbs. Why? Well I'm good with plants. I'm good at mixing herbs and spices into my cooking, so why not look deeper into the other benefits of plant? I surfed the internet and realized many of the herbs I cook with are actually good at helping with things, like a cough. I started reading more and then I started to make my own teas.
My first true experiment was when my eldest child had a horrible chest cold and I didn't have money for cough syrup. I went through my herb books and read about how to help with a cough. Then I went through my herb and spice cabinet and found several ingredients that would help break up the mucus and others that actually quieted the cough. I made an incredibly strong tea and had my 9 year old (at the time) child drink it. The cough didn't "disappear" but it did quiet down and she could breathe easier. It also seemed to speed the illness up. She wasn't magically cured but she wasn't as miserable as before the tea. That's about all it took for me to decide that was my new course. If nothing else, I wanted to know how to help my family without resorting to many over the counter medications.
8 years later I am back in school learning how to become a Professional Herbalist. Will I actually open my own business? I take life one day at a time. Otherwise I dwell on where I failed instead of where I am or could be. I now make four teas with regularity and my friends and family ask me to make teas for them. The studying is not easy since some of it can blend together if I go too fast, but its enjoyable for me. One of my favorite teas (Mental R&R) is my go to tea when it all seems too much. It doesn't make it go away but it helps reduce the pressure pushing down on me.
I've come a long way from the time of my divorce in 2006. I've gone from unemployed and homeless to a home owner. Is it all sweetness and joy? No! Its hard work, aggravation, and lots of cussing when making repairs. At times I'm tempted to burn the house down just to be done with it. But in the end its mine. I have a much improved yard and a much improved home. The work has been long and slow. I pay less in a mortgage that it would cost me to rent this place, and again, its mine – to paint as I please, change as I please, and sell when I please. My kids have a stable home and it is our home because that is what we make it.
Anyone can do this. Anyone can come from nothing and from nowhere and make a life and a home for themselves. It's easy to give up. It's easy to say screw it and stay in the same old same old, but its possible to build beyond that. It's possible to change your life just by making a choice to move forward instead of becoming complacent or indifferent to yours and or your family's current life. Some times it really does take moving away from where you are to make the change, but as the other saying goes "you never know unless you try".
-- Wendy, July 2014
I would love to hear from you if you have any questions or comments. Please use the comment form at the bottom of the page, or you can contact me privately by email.
This is one of my favorite books, and an excellent source of reference.
I highly recommend any book by Rosemary Gladstar.
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